This Autumn, the Replanted Community will be learning from one another as Me Too Group Leaders provide answers to questions that have shaped their journey and made their family’s who they are today.
How did you see God move mightily in the midst of your adoption/foster process?
After bringing our son home, his (alleged) birthfather began the process of suing to obtain custody of him. This man’s only involvement in Judah-Jakori’s life had been to offer to pay for him to be aborted, but our lawyers told us we would probably lose. We felt completely helpless but many people were praying for us intensely. Everyone was shocked when the man failed the paternity test; to this day we can only surmise as to who our son’s birthfather is.
What has been the greatest joy in bringing your child(ren) home?
Seeing them smile – in the case of two of our daughters, for the first time since seeing their pictures.
What has been the most difficult part of bringing your child(ren) home?
Dealing with special needs of which we were unaware.
What do you wish someone told you before you began your adoption/foster process?
I’m actually thankful that no one told us how hard it would be, or else we might have given up.
How do you incorporate your child(ren)’s ethnicity into your family culture?
We eat Indian food several times a week, and our children attend midweek events at an African-American church. We celebrate Martin Luther King Day and Juneteenth, and next year we plan to celebrate Indian Republic Day and Indian Independence Day.
What Scriptures have been life giving to you in this journey?
Isaiah 61, which helped me realize the great plans God has for our children.
Psalm 90, which encouraged me in my vocation as a father
2 Chronicles 20, which was read at the prayer night our church organized for us when we were afraid of losing our son
Mark 4:35-40, which was the subject of a prophecy given to me shortly before our daughters came home.
Luke 5:3-7, because although they were afraid their nets would break from the overwhelming blessing… they didn’t.
How have you seen redemption in your child’s life?
In the baptism of our Indian daughters – something they eagerly desired – and in the physical transformation of our Ethiopian daughter, who was born without a thyroid, once we got her on the replacement hormone.
What have you learned about yourself since becoming an adoptive or foster parent?
That I’m actually not a very good human being (nor am I half as smart as I thought). Deep down, I’m very selfish, and frequently clueless. It has stripped me of my delusions of self-sufficiency and self-righteousness.
How has the church supported your family in this journey?
Prayed for us consistently, and also intensely when we were afraid of losing our son. People brought meals, mowed our lawn, watched some of our children, and helped around the house. A woman who specializes in early childhood development has provided free weekly therapy to 2 of our children for years now. On several occasions, we received anonymous financial gifts through our church. People in multiple churches ministered to our children through Awana, VBS, and on Sunday mornings.
How has adopting or fostering changed you?
As the father of 2 Indian children and 2 black children, I now see the world more in terms of how they will experience it. I am now forced to reckon with evils – like racism and white supremacy – that I could previously dismiss because they didn’t impact me directly. God used my children to open my eyes to the experiences of my brothers and sisters in Christ. I think I’m also a little more patient and more tolerant of chaos than I used to be.
