A Call to REFRESH

by Sarah Roney

To all those weary mamas and papas out there who find themselves in the trenches of loving their kids from hard places,

From a war-weary mama whose babies are struggling,

A few reasons we need REFRESH:

Because their brains just don’t work the same way.
Because trauma prevents them from processing minor life disruptions in a typical manner.
Because almost ____ years after bringing them home they are still in flight-or-fight mode.
Because you can’t predict which outings will be easy, and which ones will be a disaster.

Because meal times are still a battle.
Because they need all of the attention.
Because most of your friends just don’t get it, no matter how hard they try.
Because your kid has special needs but you don’t have any special patience.

Because the holidays are coming up and your children are already over stimulated.
Because somebody will always look angry in your Christmas card photo.
Because people think you’re nuts for trying – and sometimes you think they might be right.
Because you always have more prayer requests than anyone else in your small group.

Because educating your child takes a team of specialists and yet they are still so far behind.
Because your medical bills may never be paid off.
Because your dreamed for years for them to come home, yet your dreams never looked like this.
Because your family may never fit in.

Because you are still processing the pain of infertility while waiting to bring them home.
Because who can really afford to adopt?
Because you have read every book on this and still feel incompetent.
Because they lost your paperwork again..

Because you don’t always know how to honor their birth parents.
Because the conversations you imagined having with them, always sound awkward in real life.
Because your case worker doesn’t seem to understand.
Because the estimated wait just doubled.

Because you don’t feel equipped to help your child work through their past.
Because you might not have enough energy for the next week, let alone the next decade.
Because you don’t yet speak the same language.
Because they may never live independently.

Because you thought you were stronger and had more courage.
Because none of us have enough of it.
Because someone is always upset.
Because love really can’t heal their brokenness – that’s Jesus’ job. We’re just along to marvel at how He does it.

David Vosburg